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    Greg and Beth

    the political and personal musings of two
    mountaineers living in west-central Florida
     
    Iraqi Pigs Comment
    Gregory Morris, 4/14/10 12:20:53 pm
    So here's an ironic story that, if it weren't so sad, would be downright hysterical.

    Parts of Iraq rely on farming not only for food, but as a significant part of their economy. Actually, come to think of it, Iraq is probably where farming was invented... but that's another topic altogether. Right now there is a new and growing problem with feral pigs absolutely obliterating the crops. As you know, Muslims consider pigs to be unclean, which leaves more bacon for me. Er... I mean, they won't touch them. This is a problem. Sure, they can kill them, but then they have a dead, bloody pig, which has three-times the unclean cooties of a live one.

    At this point, my intrepid reader is probably asking why this is a new problem. Well, before I give you the answer, I'm afraid I must first torment you with a little bit of a history lesson.

    Consider this: for the last 1500 some odd years (give or take a few hundred years), there has been a significant Christian presence in Iraq. There were churches here before Muhammad's great-great-grandma was born. The oldest known Christian monastery in Iraq dates back to at least the 6th century. Many, many years ago, Mosul was actually the seat of the Syrian Orthodox Patriarch. This is, of course, before the British came in and screwed everything up... but again, that's another story. Regardless, in days gone by, Iraq's Muslims, Christians, and yes Jews actually had a somewhat "peaceful" coexistence. They may not have invited each other to neighborhood barbecues, but at least, they tolerated each others presence.

    Fast forward to modern times... By this point, Iraqi Christians have been persecuted for many years by Muslim rulers. However, even under that evil bastard Saddam Hussein, they were allowed to continue worshiping so long as they did it quietly. Ironically, without Hussein's iron-fisted (yet mostly secular) tyranny, the Christian population in Iraq has come under even more violent attacks from various upstart Muslim extremist groups. Tens of thousands of Iraqi Christians have been forced to flee to Syria, Turkey, and elsewhere.

    Back to the point at hand. Pigs. Christians don't worry so much about the unclean oink-cooties. Good Christians hunt wild pigs, then eat the hell out of that pork. Roasted, grilled, smoked or fried. So now that the large Christian populations have been driven from Iraq, the only natural enemy of these delicious little crop-devouring critters are gone.

    I, for one, would like to see our military leadership offer a solution to these poor and impoverished farmers. My suggestion would be to hand me and some of the other good ol' boys here a rifle, some night-vision optics, and some charcoal.

    [Comments are closed after a month.]

    Re: Iraqi Pigs
    Paul B, 4/15/10 7:48:54 am
    Let Farmer frank know and I bet he could scare up a group to come help. Mmmm, pork.
    Re: Iraqi Pigs
    Chris, 4/15/10 2:26:07 pm
    All the time I've spent in Iraq we would have paid a King's ransom for a freshly killed pig we could roast up. Now that I'm back over in Afghanistan, we can't even buy uncooked meat at the PX so we are truly SOL in the department of "meat not cooked into shoeleather/roadkill/charcoal.
    Re: Iraqi Pigs
    Gregory Morris, 4/16/10 12:31:00 am
    Chris: don't you get (faux)lobster and (sub)prime rib over there like we do?

    The best thing about Baghdad, actually, isn't the fact you can buy meat at the PX. It is the various on-post restaurants. They are damn expensive, but if you have a need for some properly cooked meat, you can get it.
    Re: Iraqi Pigs
    Chris, 4/16/10 10:14:30 am
    I have spent plenty of time on VBC. Have you made it over to the True Value hardware store yet?

    On the restaurant side we may have you beat. Kandahar Air Field has a full blown TGI Fridays, sans alcohol. $30 for steak and shrimp is not cheap, but it's worth it for barely cooked steak flown in from the US.

    I'd still rather get hands on a full pig that could be dropped into the ground and properly roasted.
    Re: Iraqi Pigs
    Gregory Morris, 4/16/10 10:25:37 am
    I know where the True Value place is, but I haven't had the need to stop by. I'm here for another 11 months, give or take, so that will probably change.

    TGI Fridays? No way... that beats our Taco Bell and Popeye's Chicken!

    Honestly though, the problem with eating feral pigs around here is that you really don't know what kind of chemicals they have ingested considering that farmers are trying to poison them. It is a crying shame.
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